Something's missing...

Sitting in the bus... on a rainy day... it is true that "weather changes mood" as Kurt Cobain was singing in the hit "In bloom" from Nirvana's first successful album Nevermind (and now part of Rock Band). And as I said in a previous post, music is a very good way to express, repress, depress and compress feelings :-)...

Just before I got out of the car which I left in the parking lot at the bus stop (yeah, I know, I'm only half green), Chad Kroeger and his Nickelback crew was singing that "There's gotta be Somebody for me out there", and I want to keep on believing it, but it is not always easy... Especially when the rest of my life is going so damn well, that it's kind of scary...

It's true... It seems to scare away some women that feels my life has been way to easy and I won't be able to cope with theirs. And I don't argue, I have had quite an easy life so far (if we forget about the lack of true love, which I have felt just enough to know it's there, but not quite enough for it to stick around). I was telling a friend over lunch this week that I think I have reached a level of general happiness that is quite satisfying for my needs... I realized that with age, we get to reach more and more happiness, and I think that we also learn to need (or maybe expect) less (at least, some of us are able to)... And so my friend said: "Great you should be proud and feel lucky!"...

Yet, still... I feel that something is missing... Is it just love? But then, when I find it, will I be done? It always amazed me that so many things can not just reach a level of "good enough" and stay there. Companies need to make more profit every year, otherwise they sink... How come? We also seem to need to continuously grow, otherwise we shrink... somehow... Can't we just plainly benefit from what we have done so far and enjoy it at the present tense?

Everybody says "live in the present", but it is so much easier said than done. How many of us are able to do it? Of course, for the ones like me who have kids and put their kids lives ahead of their own (at least until they can take care of it on their own, and even then), we do have something to live for, and work for and look after... and even look for... If we don't grow as much as we used to, we can help them grow (and it actually makes us grow by rebound of course). But we are not just parents, we are also individuals... We also need to grow on our own... Like we hope our kids will when they reach our age.

There is a song I really like from John Mayer which is called "Something's missing" and it expresses very well what I'm trying to say here:

I'm not alone.
I wish I was.
'Cause then I'd know.
I was down because.
I couldn't find.
A friend around.
To love me like.
They do right now...

That's the first verse of the song... really powerful to me... How about you?

There's also an interesting line in the middle (that I really hope doesn't apply to me):

I can't be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design

And then the Chorus and the ending are also very good... I would even say... Clever... ;-)

Somethings's missing
And I don't know how to fix it.
Somethings's missing
And I don't know what it is.
No I don't know what it is... at all...

Friends - Check
Money - Check
Well slept - Check
Opposite Sex - Check
Guitar - Check
Microphone - Check
Messages waiting on when I come home - Check

Of course... Love isn't.... Check...

BYE
MAD